Holidays & Gifts

By W. Tedd Oyler, J.D.
Saugatuck, MI
http://www.teddoyler.com/

The American “holiday season” has ancient roots. We are carrying on a traditional custom of celebrating the winter solstice, the end of shortening days and the rebirth of lengthening days, and the hope for more sunlight. Several traditions have their own important observances that take place in the dark days of December.

It appears to be another human tradition to take simple celebrations and make them grander, more complicated. Christmas, for instance, has for some become a cacophony of Santas, reindeer, nutcrackers, tinsel, flashing lights, faux angels, office parties, holiday movies, and—above all else, it seems—a frenzy of gift buying and opening.

To be sure, each of us can choose how we celebrate our holidays. Our traditions dictate some of the experience. Beyond those teachings, we can choose how to observe important occasions. Just because the neighbors decorate their homes to a gaudy excess does not obligate us. Just because the neighbor children receive thousands of dollars worth of electronics does not mean our kids must as well.

You may be struggling to maintain treasured family traditions, such as a certain schedule for a holiday or a particular way of opening gifts. You may face new challenges if one sibling has moved away and another has married into another family, creating scheduling conflicts. Each of these issues adds stress to our lives and has the potential to compromise a pleasant holiday. If you think the season has become more material than spiritual, consider reinventing how you celebrate your holiday. And if you go into debt to buy gifts, maybe you should reinvent how you celebrate.

As we edge warily forward into 2010, absorbing one financial shock after another—to the point where we aren’t even shocked anymore, just frightened—we can reexamine our priorities, perhaps taking a fresh look at all those toys (for kids and adults) and all that debt that can enslave us.

It’s all about living in integrity with your own sense of values. If you don’t, you will be uneasy some part of every day—unhappy rather than happy, less useful to your family and friends. Failing to live in integrity will cause your life to dis-integrate—maybe slowly, maybe more quickly.

So how can you reengineer a holiday? Perhaps you can reduce the focus on material goods. For the children in your life, reduce the number of gifts you buy by one. Young ones won’t notice the difference, and older ones can be taught to choose what is most important to them. As kids become old enough to understand, offer them a gift for themselves with the provison that they’ll designate a charitable recipient to receive a gift of similar value. You may be surprised at how much they’ll appreciate this idea.

Instead of buying more “things” for adults who already have plenty, consider charitable donations in their name for as much as you would have spent on them. Choose a charity they support or where they volunteer.

Fewer material gifts means less wrapping, less mess, and less time spent in malls. This leaves more time and freedom to spend your holiday in your own way. Perhaps you and your family will prefer less in the way of material goods and cherish more meaningful time together.